April Fools

by the scary jokes

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02:17
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credits

released April 1, 2016

guitar on 'toynbee tiles' courtesy of paul r. of 'i wish i'd stayed'
iwishidstayed.bandcamp.com

this album is intended for gapless playback which i can only guarantee will work if you download it in a lossless format. do whatever you want though i'm not your dad

(the beginning of the track "a mannequin adrift" is rather abrupt & loud so just be careful ok)

thanks

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the scary jokes New Jersey

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Track Name: Friends With You
how long do i have to wait
til my lonely days are over
my heart is on the train
a bag without an owner

i put myself to bed just halfway through the party
i love all my friends but i hate when their eyes are on me
i miss being friends with you, but what can i do
what can i do but leave you alone

here's to you and me
and the crumbling infrastructure no one else can see
the end result of my own reckless impulsivity
could you spare a sec to talk to me

but what is left to say
now we see each other plain
why do you pretend
you don't know who's to blame

underneath the streetlight
you are dark and sweet and golden
i creep out of the night
to rest my head on your shoulder

and i can tell you really love me
can you tell i'm really sorry?
can you tell i'm REALLY SORRY?
let's just go home
Track Name: Apple Pie
oh ain't it lovely ain't it sweet
to be staring at my feet when i see you on the street
i just get so bummed out when i think about
how i'll always be too shy to say what's on my mind
i'm fantasizing all the time

and every day is always sunny
i'm sweet as syrup on ya, honey
and isn't it wonderful?
how you make me so confused when i talk to you
am i losing my mind or am i winning your heart?

oh if only i'd met you way back when i was alone without a friend
things would've been so much easier then
now i forget how to feel, i haven't fully healed
from that awful blow
i hope it doesn't show, cause i don't want to be alone

every day's an apple pie
when i'm with you i'm not so shy
and i almost feel alive in your arms
help me forget what i'm going through and i'll give everything to you
it's the least that i could do

we could be happy you and me
we could be happy you and me
we could be happy you and me
we could be happy you and me
we could be happy you and me
we could be happy you and me
we could be happy you and me
we could be happy?
Track Name: Feelin' So Matryoshka
electrical currents shorting out my gelatin mind all the
time, it's such a wonder my head don't blow like a halogen bulb
peach schnapps in plastic cups
i trust you've got nothing but good intentions

feelin' so matryoshka but i have lost my painted doll likeness
it's been such a bore just thinking of ways to fill a day
lately all these paper clones have lost their fun
now you've grown so sick of my wooden affection

i know the night the void the darkness belong to you Rhonda
i know
but this sudden rot has caught me totally off-guard
and i don't have a clue how to own it like you do
could you teach me how to break down with elegance?

Rhonda don't leave me to crumble at your feet
has something happened between us?
you used to be so sweet
Track Name: In a Bitter Syrup
september & october caught me in a nervous daydream
felt like a piranha dangling on a candy-coated hook
all the rain and overflowing drainpipes couldn't stop the world from glowing
with a light i'd only ever seen in dreams

my eyes are two browning drying flowers pressed hard into my skin
trying to remember how they looked, if they were beautiful
casually lying on the kitchen floor, overcome with bubblegum bliss
cause this is the first time i've truly had any fun

sweet confusion in a bitter syrup lift my spirits up again
kiss me on the eyelids and tuck me into bed
Track Name: Catabolic Seed
oh what's a devil to do
when those old delusions so tried and true
don't come through like they used to?

ugh all my money's run out
i blew it all on a cumulus cloud
that dissipated so fast, seems the good times never last

and i always fall flat on my back, like an upside-down cat
but is bad luck really such a crime?
if you won't be my valentine, could you at least give me a little bit of sympathy?

oh i made a silly mistake (what'd you do?)
i've given up more than i can take (uh oh!)
and left hollows in my wake

my structure's compromised
but you still batter at all my fault lines
i can't run, i can't hide, but you can't say i didn't try

to retreat back into me like a catabolic seed
i want to destroy everything that's mine!
if you won't be my valentine, could you at least give me a little bit of sympathy?

i don't care if i'm losing myself in the garden of earthly delights
i could drop dead right where i stand, i wouldn't mind
Track Name: Icicles
get in your zone, dont even look at them at all
their shallow observations will only stall the transformation
youve become art, how could they even start to see
beyond your presentation when theyve got no imagination

but i admit it would be easier to be relieved of all this shame and not have to wear it on my sleeve
i imagine its quite nice for you to have so many chances oh so many ways to be redeemed

but as for me i can only be forgiven if im givin myself up to you on a silver serving tray
must i bare myself to the stabbing of your knife and gnashing teeth while our lovely company appears so entertained

ah yes, good etiquette demands i remain soft and accessible in the face of my own ending
so i will try to be discreet thru my FULL-BLOWN IMPLOSION i’ll stay golden and retreat into my sweetest fantasy

(the one where you are crying & i dont do anything at all)

my world has turned so cold but i wont cry
cause icicles dont soften when they die so why should i
icicles dont soften when they die
they sharpen into sabers and they STAB YOU IN THE EYE
Track Name: A Mannequin Adrift
hey, what's a good kid like you doing in a place like this?
surely you're sick of the sorry predicament you've landed yourself in?
you are determinedly ill but still you ought to have some idea
why you're still hanging around

come on, let us see you smile
stop crying and let's see you smile
there
you're much prettier that way

it's so hard to function
i feel like my body has died with my soul trapped inside
this cold death rattle in my chest feels just like pennies in a tin can

Rhonda i wonder how long you will wait for me?
or if you even thought to save the pieces of my shattered ego
these terrible chemical vapors are cutting up my lungs

come on don't you remember me?
or have you burned my effigy?
it floats around my memory like a mannequin adrift at sea
i think perhaps things might be better off this way
Track Name: Blood From the Concrete
i'll take the rocks out of my head
and you can sell them on the internet
to a paving company who
will grind my brains into cement

when i'm the gravel we can travel and unravel the threads that bind us to our senses
i'll pave the way so we can make our mental getaway
i'll be your highway you can drive all over me

i don't know how i could get any lower but!
i can try my best for you cause
if i can't be a good friend, maybe i can be good pavement
baby i'll lead you into the light

what can i do for you?
i want to make you feel important
i'll give it up for you cause
after all you've been so supportive

like, i get that trying to get affection from me is like trying to draw blood from the concrete
i'll prove that i can change, i'll rearrange my particles
transform my heart into a tunnel over you

i don't know how i could get any lower but
i can try my best for you cause
if i can't be a good friend, maybe i can be good pavement
i can be your highway you can walk all over me
Track Name: A Night at the Movies
i got out for a while today
thought i would go see a movie
spent ninety minutes alone in the dark
still i could feel your eyes bore into me

i think you've poisoned me right to the core
wonder if you'll ever really know
i bought some beer at the corner store
i took the long way getting home

if the sky falls down on our house
it would have been a long time coming
if the walls all caved in i'd just lie down
i wouldn't even bother running

only crazy people look up at the sky and say
"oh, isn't it beautiful?"
oh, they must be delusional!
the earth and the sky are pressing hard on my body

my poor little body!
oh no oh no oh no
why won't they just leave me alone?

i got out for a while today
but it made no difference to me
i finally said what i needed to say
but there was nobody home to listen to me
Track Name: Pink Smoke
you walk through walls, set off the smoke alarm
i feel your arms wrapping around me
your aura almost drowns me like a deadly perfume
pink smoke

i'm choking on your memory, it fills my chest
i lose my breath thinking about you
i'm trying to get by without you but the air is full of ash
pink smoke

pink smoke gets stuck in my throat
pink smoke gets stuck in my throat
when i say your name my heart goes up in flames
it smells so very strange, like grenadine & gasoline

pink smoke
Track Name: Pleasure Cruise
down by the bay a man made of clay
dips his toes into the ocean, trying to wash himself away
he jumps into the pond and he starts to dissolve
and he dreams about the streams that bleed into the amazon

if you are a boulder that never leaves the shore
you'll get ground up into sand and tracked onto the floor
swept into a pile on someone's kitchen tile

these hurricanes have led my heart astray
but maybe if i try my hardest i'll finally chase the rainclouds all away

i heard on the news that they keep finding shoes
on the shores of ecuador and no one knows what they should do
they tried to give them away but there's more every day
ballet shoes in shades of blue and rubber boots and mary janes

if you have to get away, don't take a pleasure cruise
cause you might get swept away (and you'll lose your shoes)
they'll end up in a pile on some foreign isle

these hurricanes have led my heart astray
but maybe if i try my hardest i'll finally chase the rainclouds all away

in a couple years, the land will disappear under the ocean
when that day is here i'll pack a bathing suit and tanning lotion
i'll let the waves take me away
~away~
Track Name: Toynbee Tiles
sweet dreams, i'll see you in the morning
all we need is a few hours sleep
and tomorrow, we'll keep looking for clues
to the riddles spelled out in our soup

there's a dozen round every corner
but it won't be easy to piece them together
but we've got minds like barbed wire
i never thought that it would be so tough
just to exist through the simplest, most menial stuff
but i know we're gonna figure this thing out (or self-immolate trying)

there once was a time when we walked crooked lines
but that's all over now
i'll walk with you into the blue

dreamt of a city, somewhere over the mountains
where the sidewalks are paved with helpful ideas
you were with me, standing over the highway
gasoline hanging in the air

can't seem to cut loose all these tangled threads
in my embroidered tapestry crafted by my very own 2,000 hands
you got any weekend plans?
can't help but wonder if you're still my pal
but you told me once that you would follow me into hell
and oh man, that place is far behind me now

there once was a time when we walked crooked lines
but that's all over now
i'll walk with you into the blue

there was a traveler who claimed he had all the answers
he came from jupiter but he was only an amateur
he was all alone so far from home

there once was a time when we walked crooked lines
but that's all over now
i'll walk with you into the blue