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BURN PYGMALION​!​!​! A Better Guide to Romance

by the scary jokes

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  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $10 USD  or more

     

  • Cassette + Digital Album

    Pink & Green Sandwiched Shells
    Dolby B Noise Reduction
    3-panel Jcard

    Includes unlimited streaming of BURN PYGMALION!!! A Better Guide to Romance via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 2 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      $12 USD or more 

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Glass-replicated CD in digipak case
    8-page booklet with lyrics and new art by Liz Lehman

    Includes unlimited streaming of BURN PYGMALION!!! A Better Guide to Romance via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 2 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      $12 USD or more 

     

  • Nightmare Dance LP
    Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    180-gram vinyl
    Half Pink/Half Green with Burning Splatter LP
    Insert with lyrics and new art by Liz Lehman

    Includes unlimited streaming of BURN PYGMALION!!! A Better Guide to Romance via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

    Sold Out

  • Burning Glow LP
    Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    180-gram vinyl
    Red & Orange Fire Galaxy LP
    Insert with lyrics and new art by Liz Lehman
    Download card with access to song stems
    Mastered for vinyl by Angel Marcloid

    Includes unlimited streaming of BURN PYGMALION!!! A Better Guide to Romance via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

    Sold Out

1.
full disclosure, i am a monster a creature of despair, not that that should be a cause for concern if there's one thing i've learned in all my years here it's that despair is less abundant in those who understand how to plant their hearts in community gardens you'll be fine you honeycomb who could ever hurt you? who could be so cold? you'll be fine oh honeypie who could ever hurt you? who could be so unkind? the culmination of man's mistakes came the day the sun ran so hot, it turned the desert to glass if there's something to be learned from all these LOSERS... it's that the price that you pay for arrogance and a false sense of immunity is to face the wrath of a dying star you'll be fine you honeycomb who could ever hurt you? who could be so cold? you'll be fine oh honeypie who could ever hurt you? who could be so unkind? the years have been hard on this lonely heart if you want to know the truth there's no more community gardens so i guess i'll have to settle for you (this is dolly parton, singing "jolene" yep! we should cover that. we should. 1 2 3 4!)
2.
hotshot, have you got a clue how long i've been pining for you? spent so many sleepless nights in unbaptized decline but in our parallel minds, we were just killing time til our collision catalyst the awful truth has eluded you for too long uh oh, everything you know is all wrong there is no substance left for the wyrm to eat itself such callow uncertainty in these pantomime end times sucks to be an optimist in this listless dissolution it's just a triptych in decay the awful truth has eluded you for too long uh oh, everything you know is all wrong i hope you know that you can trust me, baby it's just me i hope you know that you don't owe me, oh girl you own me i hope you know you're really special, you're so next-level i hope you know how much i believe in you it's quiet now, i doubt if any thoughts will ever come again but there's a sense of some lone consequence, wheezing down my neck it's fine, we're fine, i'm doing everything i'm supposed to do i'd burn it all, i'd set the world on fire just to be with you
3.
my internal compass is all askew i know it's got nothing to do with us right? never felt so messed up over anyone i know it's got nothing to do with us nothing to do with you but things will calm down soon i'll drink up every second i have with you do you believe me when i tell you your light outshines every person i know? do you want to go to the party? i want to show you off to every person i know don't hide yourself don't hide yourself from me are you coming to my show? no, you don't have to go do you believe me?
4.
Jeanine 04:28
jeanine, you're being followed by the ghost of what i can't absolve say you wanna go somewhere? so do i by now we're often saying our closing thoughts but tonight... something's hanging off of your tongue do you find yourselve at the edge of my ocean? tip-toeing 'round the broken glass in the sand? when you're feeling well maybe we can do something together jeanine you're giving off these psychic waves have you heard the news? no one's doing that these days let's not play these games (jeanine) love is just a name (why don't you ever say what you mean) for you to call me by (are you frightened of me? or the person you're leaving behind) i milked a fable from your eye the rawness of it made me cry too but to be honest i would like it if you would cry more than you do i'm just barely keeping up with my constant unraveling you're so together, it embarrasses me but your grace in the face of my apex terror makes me feel so secure guess it doesn't really matter if you're open or not i'm verbose enough for the both of us and we can't all be open floodgates after all but you don't have to be a dam for me just like the smote cedars in the yard i've fallen so hard for you don't you know i'm obsessed with you too? when i told you i get crushed by my own ambitions you said "girl, ain't you ever happy?" (no)
5.
Pygmalion 04:39
stealing a part of pygmalion's heart isn't so hard if you play your part and you're not afraid to disengage you stab at your prize, chiseling fear in her eyes you know it sounds bad, but you love seeing her sad you love someone you can shape who has no will to escape but you know she's not selfish like everyone else is she won't leave you lonely she's gonna make you whole but how do you know she won't seize control? she ain't worth a goddamn in anyone else's hands you've got real potential but you lack the essentials you're just a monster with a BFA she wants to claw your eyes open so you can see, she's not a plaything you covet her warmth, like a wolf at a corpse so it's fair to assume, your intent's to consume her and she lets you feed cause her love's in need and you don't even panic when her flesh turns to granite 'cause girls of her kind are so easy to find you think that you're such a star. ha! what a fraud you are. the only gift you possess is your viciousness you've got real potential but you lack the essentials you're just a monster with a BFA she wants to claw your eyes open so you can see, she's not a plaything
6.
Starstruck 03:56
sylvia, you are a fugitive on the run not sure from what every day, you're like a different girl who are you trying to fool? sylvia it's such a pleasure to know the real you i still get a little starstruck baby you shine so bright and you still give me butterflies oh baby you shine so bright sylvia, do i measure up to the monolith of celebrity? though i do feel rather leviathan as a faithful shadow in your burning glow sylvia, please tell me the rumors aren't true sylvia, it'd be such an honor to meet the real you i still get a little starstruck baby you shine so bright and you still give me butterflies oh baby you shine so bright bright enough to light me up oh, you are my one true believer i am your timid ambassador i'll talk you up baby then they'll all know you're the real thing i'm gonna find you looming turning the fog silver and alive oh, i could die under your sightless glow
7.
you promised me you'd never be my torturer for such a nice girl you sure do talk like a freak i started out as estelle, now i see myself as more of an inez honey you've really brought out my inner sadist we've got hearts of children but children can be so malicious your vicious kin are infecting me now i'm becoming one of them caught in the grip of the icy fingers of malaise "honey you should've known better than to trust her" it follows me like a second self, a malignant shadow honey it couldn't be better than it is with you we've got hearts of children but children can be so malicious your vicious kin are infecting me now i'm becoming one of them one of you
8.
meanwhile, on the roof jeannie considers the vastness of the countryside the darkness of the mountains jeannie's accustomed to bright lights and people she finds the quiet emptiness unnerving and impervious she's only staying her cause sylvia asked her to now that she's gone away, what's she supposed to do? tend to the garden and admire the architecture... while her personality pills like a worn-out t-shirt she was a journalist - wrote for the sunday pages 'til a young starlet captured her fascination still caught up in the whirlwind, the past months are a blur she tries to trace the lines... they tangle in her mind she only loves her 'cause she's beautiful and sweet complex and mysterious, and mildly delirious she's also something of an exhibitionist but jeannie loves her and that's all that matters to her now hey there superstar, don't forget you made you what you are who put you on their radar? sweet talk on the phone ugly doubts that won't leave me alone
9.
when your walls go up, i hope that they're mirrored so you can serve your sentence with somebody sympathetic darlin you're a hack, but it's charming when you crack yourself up but everybody knows what you go to to keep yourself together alone at the end of the day sync your thoughts with the highway song fall asleep with the TV on sylvia, you know, i just want to stay close to you oh no, there you go again sylvia, my love, there is just so much i can do for you after all, i'm just a friend it's a shame, nowadays all your friends have become such a drag they make you feel like a running gag sylvia's just a dying fad your mind's at a fever pitch, temperature's rising those ghosts in the rearview are so tantalizing sylvia, you say that the moon is your only friend but she's a bitch and she don't listen when you cry sylvia, my love, there is just so much i can do for you after all, i'm just a friend
10.
what's up with you, girl? yeah, i know, you're such a superstar does it make you feel like you really made it when you leave me hanging like this? well, i'm not gonna make the first move if you don't even give a goddamn god DAMN, what's happened to our friendship? like, i miss you all the time, but girl, don't you do me wrong girl, don't you do me harm girl, don't you do me wrong girl, you do you don't do me wrong, girl shit, i can't even score an RSVP to the balls you throw for charity say i'll "distract from all the tragedies" don't do me wrong girl why do you crop me out of all of our pics? you make me call you through your publicist! it breaks my heart i don't mean to be bitter i just feel a little insecure but when you send me love from your podiums it does help to reassure i know my survival is like, so boring but i've got nothing else to give and if you came calling, honey oh, i'd come running back every time, although... girl, don't you do me wrong girl, don't you do me harm girl, don't you do me wrong girl, you do you
11.
i hear you're still living as an emotional vagrant with bright red vacancy signs blaring in your eyes well my heart might be shot, but at least i've still got one maybe you should try meditating on your wrongs i do it all the time and it really helps me calm the urge to desert my woes cause if i did, who knows what awaits behind the gates of this limbo it must be hard to stay ahead of such deadly apathy when you become bored so easily and every new fixation feels like it'll fix everything but you're always finding new ways to feel defective is your failure to connect just your way of protecting yourself? when your attention starts to wear you just can't bring yourself to care but in time you're gonna find yourself ensnared by your own self-absorption can't seem to hang onto a decent mood they pass right through you and then fade like a dream leaving only hypnopompic howls to follow you around all day and they don't go away, they just gnaw at you until the next soft-hearted sucker comes your way
12.
Sleepyhead 02:29
some days life's gonna wear you down, gonna wear you down some days life's gonna wear you down, gonna wear you down there's dust upon the stairs, the mansion has the air of a tomb she hardly leaves her room some days i have never been the type to go to church and i have never prayed for anyone but her but i pray for her each night, dreaming that it might catch her ear i hope, my dear, life doesn't wear you down the wind is rising the sun is shining the dawn is breaking the world is waking the church bells ring the choir sings the people pray their sins away and you feel so odd, so far from god the days are dark the nights are long your heart is tired of being strung along get out of bed you sleepyhead it's another chance to start again please don't forget that i'm your friend
13.
oh no looks like it's coming round again your vengeful parasite rearing its head come to tear us from our high how long has it been since you held it close? seems like six blissful lifetimes ago ah, but that's just how it goes it burns me to the core but i don't wanna think about it anymore it'll render us so precarious termites inside our walls goddamn! i always hate to let down a fan and this is really messing with my head i keep zoning out on set how long will this follow you? it's so bitter that it's lost control of you and it thirsts for your destruction yeah, it disgusts me to the core but you don't have to think about it anymore 'cause it renders us so precarious termites inside our walls do you think people are kindness wells to suck dry? i hope you shrivel up and die you can't touch us here, we're ethereal you're just immaterial
14.
i know you really must feel sorry for me 'cause i just can't have a normal heart and i get so deeply poisoned by love so please don't go away and leave me with nothing i have no leverage, so i feel no pleasure if i can't have you to myself, how can i be happy? so please give me kisses, i won't break my promises i can be a person if you give me the chance yes, i am ascending to a new low yes, i feel it spiraling out into everyone can you feel me gnawing away at your heart and can you hear me when i scream i love you oh, can you see, you took over me you hijacked my mind, not that i want it back i want you so bad, i know that it's sad it's just how i deal, i can't help how i feel look i have no doors, i've torn through the walls i've ripped up the floors, laid waste to it all i burned up my body, now i have nobody can i have you? and can you be everything i need? yes, i am ascending to a new love yes i feel it spiraling out into everyone can you feel me gnawing away at your heart and can you hear me when i scream i love you i need you
15.
i tried just burning the whole thing to the ground today but decisiveness is such a foreign tenant to my psyche it violently and immediately began to reject it so i had no choice but to salvage the ravaged remains of our history i danced with you in a nightmare i was dragging you across the floor the radio disrupted by some voyeuristic spirit i could hardly stand under the weight of my little crush on you and you, so limp in my arms, hardly helped so, all that i could do was collapse under you you called my bluff, i love you too much would you please stay with me? cause after all is said and done i want you here, stay with me i showed my hand and i don't give a damn shut the door, stay with me cause after all is said and done i need you here
16.
these days, your light beams penetrate the sorrowed skin that i've been living in but still i wait for the piercing pain i'll feel when your feelings fade i feel so good today the sun is just a copper coin i flip in bets against the void imitating choice til i feel good again, i'll keep them in a tin can then i'll have copper coins to spare will you remember me when our spirits scatter off? i know i'm an artist cause i just can't stand the thought that a love as beautiful as ours could be forgotten

about

a dizzying kaleidoscope of neurosis as an entertainment journalist is left in solitude to tend to her movie star girlfriend's country home

Blending 8-bit aesthetics with soul-baring queer bedroom indie, New Jersey-based synthpop project The Scary Jokes is the brainchild of singer-songwriter Liz Lehman. Their signature style of gentle, upbeat psychedelia contrasted with pointed, introspective lyrics earned 2016’s April Fools considerable buzz in the internet underground.

On their 2019 followup, Burn Pygmalion!!! A Better Guide to Romance, Lehman weaves a concept album around insecurity and romantic alienation, telling the story of a journalist ruminating on her relationship as she housesits for her movie-star girlfriend. The album expanded the group’s sound, complimenting Lehman’s electronic production with guitarwork by new band member Juniper Abernathy and a guest performance by Louie Zong. Featuring the song “Community Gardens,” Burn Pygmalion cemented The Scary Jokes as one of the most exciting new artists of the 2010s.

credits

released January 1, 2019

guitar on community gardens by louie zong
louiezong.bandcamp.com
soundcloud.com/louie-zong

guitar on all other songs, as well as lyrical contribution on tracks "jeanine" and "your vicious kin" by abernathy
abernathy1.bandcamp.com
soundcloud.com/abernathy1

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the scary jokes New Jersey

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