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April Fools

by the scary jokes

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1.
how long do i have to wait til my lonely days are over my heart is on the train a bag without an owner i put myself to bed just halfway through the party i love all my friends but i hate when their eyes are on me i miss being friends with you, but what can i do what can i do but leave you alone here's to you and me and the crumbling infrastructure no one else can see the end result of my own reckless impulsivity could you spare a sec to talk to me but what is left to say now we see each other plain why do you pretend you don't know who's to blame underneath the streetlight you are dark and sweet and golden i creep out of the night to rest my head on your shoulder and i can tell you really love me can you tell i'm really sorry? can you tell i'm REALLY SORRY? let's just go home
2.
Apple Pie 03:03
oh ain't it lovely ain't it sweet to be staring at my feet when i see you on the street i just get so bummed out when i think about how i'll always be too shy to say what's on my mind i'm fantasizing all the time and every day is always sunny i'm sweet as syrup on ya, honey and isn't it wonderful? how you make me so confused when i talk to you am i losing my mind or am i winning your heart? oh if only i'd met you way back when i was alone without a friend things would've been so much easier then now i forget how to feel, i haven't fully healed from that awful blow i hope it doesn't show, cause i don't want to be alone every day's an apple pie when i'm with you i'm not so shy and i almost feel alive in your arms help me forget what i'm going through and i'll give everything to you it's the least that i could do we could be happy you and me we could be happy you and me we could be happy you and me we could be happy you and me we could be happy you and me we could be happy you and me we could be happy you and me we could be happy?
3.
electrical currents shorting out my gelatin mind all the time, it's such a wonder my head don't blow like a halogen bulb peach schnapps in plastic cups i trust you've got nothing but good intentions feelin' so matryoshka but i have lost my painted doll likeness it's been such a bore just thinking of ways to fill a day lately all these paper clones have lost their fun now you've grown so sick of my wooden affection i know the night the void the darkness belong to you Rhonda i know but this sudden rot has caught me totally off-guard and i don't have a clue how to own it like you do could you teach me how to break down with elegance? Rhonda don't leave me to crumble at your feet has something happened between us? you used to be so sweet
4.
september & october caught me in a nervous daydream felt like a piranha dangling on a candy-coated hook all the rain and overflowing drainpipes couldn't stop the world from glowing with a light i'd only ever seen in dreams my eyes are two browning drying flowers pressed hard into my skin trying to remember how they looked, if they were beautiful casually lying on the kitchen floor, overcome with bubblegum bliss cause this is the first time i've truly had any fun sweet confusion in a bitter syrup lift my spirits up again kiss me on the eyelids and tuck me into bed
5.
oh what's a devil to do when those old delusions so tried and true don't come through like they used to? ugh all my money's run out i blew it all on a cumulus cloud that dissipated so fast, seems the good times never last and i always fall flat on my back, like an upside-down cat but is bad luck really such a crime? if you won't be my valentine, could you at least give me a little bit of sympathy? oh i made a silly mistake (what'd you do?) i've given up more than i can take (uh oh!) and left hollows in my wake my structure's compromised but you still batter at all my fault lines i can't run, i can't hide, but you can't say i didn't try to retreat back into me like a catabolic seed i want to destroy everything that's mine! if you won't be my valentine, could you at least give me a little bit of sympathy? i don't care if i'm losing myself in the garden of earthly delights i could drop dead right where i stand, i wouldn't mind
6.
Icicles 03:54
get in your zone, dont even look at them at all their shallow observations will only stall the transformation youve become art, how could they even start to see beyond your presentation when theyve got no imagination but i admit it would be easier to be relieved of all this shame and not have to wear it on my sleeve i imagine its quite nice for you to have so many chances oh so many ways to be redeemed but as for me i can only be forgiven if im givin myself up to you on a silver serving tray must i bare myself to the stabbing of your knife and gnashing teeth while our lovely company appears so entertained ah yes, good etiquette demands i remain soft and accessible in the face of my own ending so i will try to be discreet thru my FULL-BLOWN IMPLOSION i’ll stay golden and retreat into my sweetest fantasy (the one where you are crying & i dont do anything at all) my world has turned so cold but i wont cry cause icicles dont soften when they die so why should i icicles dont soften when they die they sharpen into sabers and they STAB YOU IN THE EYE
7.
hey, what's a good kid like you doing in a place like this? surely you're sick of the sorry predicament you've landed yourself in? you are determinedly ill but still you ought to have some idea why you're still hanging around come on, let us see you smile stop crying and let's see you smile there you're much prettier that way it's so hard to function i feel like my body has died with my soul trapped inside this cold death rattle in my chest feels just like pennies in a tin can Rhonda i wonder how long you will wait for me? or if you even thought to save the pieces of my shattered ego these terrible chemical vapors are cutting up my lungs come on don't you remember me? or have you burned my effigy? it floats around my memory like a mannequin adrift at sea i think perhaps things might be better off this way
8.
i'll take the rocks out of my head and you can sell them on the internet to a paving company who will grind my brains into cement when i'm the gravel we can travel and unravel the threads that bind us to our senses i'll pave the way so we can make our mental getaway i'll be your highway you can drive all over me i don't know how i could get any lower but! i can try my best for you cause if i can't be a good friend, maybe i can be good pavement baby i'll lead you into the light what can i do for you? i want to make you feel important i'll give it up for you cause after all you've been so supportive like, i get that trying to get affection from me is like trying to draw blood from the concrete i'll prove that i can change, i'll rearrange my particles transform my heart into a tunnel over you i don't know how i could get any lower but i can try my best for you cause if i can't be a good friend, maybe i can be good pavement i can be your highway you can walk all over me
9.
i got out for a while today thought i would go see a movie spent ninety minutes alone in the dark still i could feel your eyes bore into me i think you've poisoned me right to the core wonder if you'll ever really know i bought some beer at the corner store i took the long way getting home if the sky falls down on our house it would have been a long time coming if the walls all caved in i'd just lie down i wouldn't even bother running only crazy people look up at the sky and say "oh, isn't it beautiful?" oh, they must be delusional! the earth and the sky are pressing hard on my body my poor little body! oh no oh no oh no why won't they just leave me alone? i got out for a while today but it made no difference to me i finally said what i needed to say but there was nobody home to listen to me
10.
Pink Smoke 02:17
you walk through walls, set off the smoke alarm i feel your arms wrapping around me your aura almost drowns me like a deadly perfume pink smoke i'm choking on your memory, it fills my chest i lose my breath thinking about you i'm trying to get by without you but the air is full of ash pink smoke pink smoke gets stuck in my throat pink smoke gets stuck in my throat when i say your name my heart goes up in flames it smells so very strange, like grenadine & gasoline pink smoke
11.
down by the bay a man made of clay dips his toes into the ocean, trying to wash himself away he jumps into the pond and he starts to dissolve and he dreams about the streams that bleed into the amazon if you are a boulder that never leaves the shore you'll get ground up into sand and tracked onto the floor swept into a pile on someone's kitchen tile these hurricanes have led my heart astray but maybe if i try my hardest i'll finally chase the rainclouds all away i heard on the news that they keep finding shoes on the shores of ecuador and no one knows what they should do they tried to give them away but there's more every day ballet shoes in shades of blue and rubber boots and mary janes if you have to get away, don't take a pleasure cruise cause you might get swept away (and you'll lose your shoes) they'll end up in a pile on some foreign isle these hurricanes have led my heart astray but maybe if i try my hardest i'll finally chase the rainclouds all away in a couple years, the land will disappear under the ocean when that day is here i'll pack a bathing suit and tanning lotion i'll let the waves take me away ~away~
12.
sweet dreams, i'll see you in the morning all we need is a few hours sleep and tomorrow, we'll keep looking for clues to the riddles spelled out in our soup there's a dozen round every corner but it won't be easy to piece them together but we've got minds like barbed wire i never thought that it would be so tough just to exist through the simplest, most menial stuff but i know we're gonna figure this thing out (or self-immolate trying) there once was a time when we walked crooked lines but that's all over now i'll walk with you into the blue dreamt of a city, somewhere over the mountains where the sidewalks are paved with helpful ideas you were with me, standing over the highway gasoline hanging in the air can't seem to cut loose all these tangled threads in my embroidered tapestry crafted by my very own 2,000 hands you got any weekend plans? can't help but wonder if you're still my pal but you told me once that you would follow me into hell and oh man, that place is far behind me now there once was a time when we walked crooked lines but that's all over now i'll walk with you into the blue there was a traveler who claimed he had all the answers he came from jupiter but he was only an amateur he was all alone so far from home there once was a time when we walked crooked lines but that's all over now i'll walk with you into the blue

credits

released April 1, 2016

guitar on 'toynbee tiles' courtesy of paul r. of 'i wish i'd stayed'
iwishidstayed.bandcamp.com

this album is intended for gapless playback which i can only guarantee will work if you download it in a lossless format. do whatever you want though i'm not your dad

(the beginning of the track "a mannequin adrift" is rather abrupt & loud so just be careful ok)

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