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bad at math

by the scary jokes

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1.
i wanna be the moon in the dead of night i'll shine my light so you know everything's gonna be all right i wanna be the moon i like to be alone it's scary to see you falling for me i wish that i could be i wanna be the moon cause i like you i really do i like you but all of your love your kisses and hugs don't fix what's bugging me so i wanna be the moon and when you're feeling blue i'll shine my light on you i wanna be the moon cause i like you i really do i like you and i can't make you cry from way up in the sky and that's the reason why i wanna be the moon
2.
i like that you like the same cartoons that i do we have such similar taste in children's media you know what they say about how art can imitate life well they were right and our lives are a whole lot like the ren and stimpy show it's the ren and stimpy show oh what do you know, it's a brand new episode! of the ren and stimpy show now between you and me you are ren and i am definitely stimpy i say some silly shit then you call me an idiot then we brush our teeth and go to sleep in the same bed it's the ren and stimpy show it's the ren and stimpy show oh what do you know, it's a brand new episode! of the ren and stimpy show we are the best of friends although it seems a little weird that we're together but you're gonna see, we'll be happy you and me oh so happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy joy joy just like in the ren and stimpy show it's the ren and stimpy show oh what do you know, it's a brand new episode! of the ren and stimpy show
3.
the daughter of the fish and the ram said "i am who i am and what i am is a freak of nature" the daughter of the ram and the fish always had one secret wish that someone would love her someday but who could love someone with scales and horns a girl who was cursed since the day she was born she cried and she whined and she hated herself she said "maybe if i tried i could be someone else" so the daughter of the fish and the ram visited a magical clam the oldest and wisest creature in the sea she said "magical clam, take pity i only want to be pretty" and the clam scratched his shell and he told her "i will give you this magical pearl it'll grant any wish that you have in the world but even the magic that i possess can never bring you true happiness" ("you gotta take care of that yourself" said the clam) so the power of the magical pearl turned her into a beautiful girl and she swam ashore and crawled up on dry land but all of the people she met said "why is this girl soaking wet" and they laughed at her and they called her weird sure she might not have been ugly anymore but she was just as lonely as she was before so crying the girl fled back to the sea and she asked the clam "why won't your magic work on me" the clam in his wisdom replied "it's the person you are inside that's the problem my dear" "sadly, you were doomed from the start there's an incurable longing in your heart and not even magic can fix that" "cause you miss the ocean when you're on land and when you're in the water you miss the sand trust me my darling take this time to roam cause no one you meet is gonna make you feel like you're home" so even though she didn't really like it she took the clam's advice and set out on a journey all by herself and all of the wonders she saw filled her with humility and awe and she felt right at home wherever she roamed her hooves let her climb to the highest peaks and her gills let her swim to the bottom of the sea and they still called her strange but she didn't really mind she was strange, she was strong, she was doing just fine the daughter of the ram and the fish still hasn't gotten her wish but not all of us do maybe someday she'll find somebody curious and kind to wander with her but til then she's okay with just being alone some things you just have to find on your own sorry if my story leaves something to be desired my fins are so sore and my hooves are so tired
4.
i'm too shy 03:25
i'm freaking out i don't know what to talk about i'm losing my mind, so i hope you're fine with just sitting around i wish i knew what to say to you i can't cope and this silly hope is all i'm hanging onto i'm too shy and i get so down when you're not around for goodness sake why does my heart always break when i see you go, i don't really know what difference it makes i'm too shy and i get so down when you're not around
5.
bad at math 03:08
physics was too confusing for me and i don't get chemistry i almost failed geometry which is funny, cause i'm really good at art but that only goes so far cause all the people around me are a great big mystery and i think that that must be cause i'm bad at math (i'm so bad at math) and i don't understand anything at all your car, your dog and all your clothes your fingers and your toes your skin and teeth and bones everyone, from everywhere every single strand of hair and it kinda makes me scared cause they're all made of math equations but i just don't have the patience to solve them all cause i'm bad at math (i'm so bad at math) and i don't understand anything at all i used to think that i was stupid cause of all the things that you said but i was being too hard on myself because some of the most brilliant minds can't even draw a straight line and that's completely fine so be sure to give yourself a rest cause you can't always be the best and i'm the worst at math i'm bad at math (i'm so bad at math) and i don't understand anything
6.
hello world 03:38
hello world it's been so long since i last heard from you i haven't said a word to you in a long, long time hello world you've changed so much since i last saw you funny how time will do that to you is there any rhyme or reason to you at all i feel so small when i think of you hello world won't you please tell me what to do hello world i see you waiting outside my door what do you keep coming round for every day hello world so many times you've let me down but you keep spinning round and round anyway do you care at all i feel so small when i think of you hello world won't you please tell me what to do hello world i feel like i'm about to freeze it always comes as a surprise to me when you get so cold but i know that soon the sun will come shining on through and you'll feel just like new maybe i'll feel like that too but i feel so small when i think of you hello world won't you please tell me what to do
7.
there's poison ivy in the garden poison ivy in the garden climbing up the trees eating up the happy flowers dandelions in the yard dozens of them growing wild why don't i just pull the weeds am i really such a coward i used to spend so much time wandering around outside now i've got too much on my mind now i've got too much on my mind if you won't leave me alone i hope poison ivy grows i hope poison ivy grows i hope poison ivy grows in your garden too i spend hours, but i don't know why my garden doesn't grow who knows what the reason is maybe i'm just a lousy gardener i used to spend so much time wandering around outside now i've got too much on my mind now i've got too much on my mind if you won't leave me alone i hope poison ivy grows i hope poison ivy grows i hope poison ivy grows in your garden too
8.
sweet desert child what are you going to do sweet desert child where will you go when everyone else has grown, sweet child it's gonna be all right you're not as doomed as you think you are and when you get cold at night hold yourself tight no one else is going to look up at that star that's just for you, sweet child sweet desert child where will you go when everyone else has grown
9.
funny 02:39
if you see me, don't look my way if you see me, please look away it'd be better to look at the dirt that's what i do when i see you i went out to the park yesterday i went out in the middle of the night and i climbed right onto the stage and i raged and i cried oh, what a funny joke am i if you see me, please look away it's not that i hate you it's just that i'm funny these days ha ha ha i drove by the river today i sat on the rocks and i thought funny thoughts and i laughed and i laughed and i gasped and i cried and i tried not to think of my love as a punchline but i knew that the truth would catch up with me sometime and oh, what a funny joke am i oh, what a funny joke am i

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released December 25, 2014

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